Date: 2018-02-19 14:37
I 8767 m 67 years old and yesterday I went into hospital for the second part of my abortion. It was the worst day of my life. Two weeks after me nd my ex broke up, Ifound out I was pregnant and I knew exactly what he was gonna say, as he always went on about how girls who get pregnant and keep babies at this age are vile and stupid and I always disagreed, as my sister had my nephew when she was 68. He rang me and was really angry at me for considering keeping the baby. He kept rushing me to make a decision and because I needed more time than 7 days to make adecision, he broke all contact with me. I was for sure going to keep it until I heard people in my own house talking about me behind my back. I spoketo a few friends who have had *censored*ren and they said it was best to terminate. My ex then got back inro contact with me and decided to make up a bunch of lies saying I had tricked him and told him I was on the pill when infact he knew all along I wasnt on contraception. He pressured and pressured me every single second of everyday sayong that he wanted to committ suicide and I was ruining everyones lives around me, so I gave in and booked an abortion. Everyone was suddenly proud of me for making the 8766 righr decision 8767 except for me. I took the first pill onwednesday by myself in the hospital and guilt oozed out of me as I walked out with my head in my hands. But yesterday when I went for the second part, my ex and my best friend came with me where we spent 7 hours in the hospital. At 6:85pm I saw my baby come out of me. He/she just led there lifeless infront of me. I stared for about 5 minutesas I noticed that he or she had arms, fingers, a head and pupils. I had no dea that it would blook so human and have formed so much. The world closed in on me and I stared in amazment in tears and realised what I had done. Before the abortion appointment my ex was being really supportive depsite my horrific mood swings, but when it was all over he just went blank, he won 8767 t make 5 minutes tto talk to me or support me and it doesn 8767 t seem like he cares that our *censored* is just gone and we will neer get him or her bavk. He says I 8767 m attention seeking when I say I need support and doesn 8767 t seem to understand that this is really painful for me even if it isn 8767 t affecting some sick Reason. I hate myself for killing my baby and iwill never forgive myself for letting people pressure me. I will never forget my *censored* angel, I 8767 ll love you forever and I 8767 m sososo sorry. How dobi get my ex to understand that I need his support? No one understands the pain.
I don 8767 t even know where to start. My wife and I had been married for about a year and a half when her demeanor toward me did a 685. Before I tell the sequence of things that make me wander if she cheated, I do acknowledge things I could have done better as a husband. We dealt with some unforseen circumstances and selfishness showed out in me during that time. It is something that I acknowledged and certainly started working to improve it. That being said she started pulling away from me and then boom it was like I didn 8767 t even exist. She first started sleeping upstairs. Then, she had her own cell phone which she paid for and was always on it not talking but looking at it. She really had nothing to say to me at all. It continued to build where she wouldn 8767 t even look at me unless she absolutely had to. She wouldn 8767 t talk to me unless she had to. She would become very critical of me in anything I said at all. I felt like I was walking on eggshells around her. It got to the point where she didn 8767 t even want to be in the same room as me. If we both happened to be in the living room, she would say loudly 8775 Am I going to have to go upstairs to watch tv? 8767 That was her cue for me to go back to the bedroom so she could spend time with some of her family who came over. I would leave the room because I didn 8767 t want there to be any more tension. Sometimes if we happened to be in the same room, she would sigh very loudly and bolt up stairs. She moved out and said it was a seperation. However, I didn 8767 t see her for the next three months. The only communication she would do with me is text. She would drop by the house and get stuff of hers when I wasn 8767 t there. One time I came home when she was washing clothes. Before I could even see her, she got all the clothes gathered out of the washer, went straight to the car and drove off. I was led to believe that this just a seperation until she asked for a divorce. I didn 8767 t understand it. She just said it wasn 8767 t meant to be. I finally saw her at the house which caught her off guard. She was picking up the divorce papers I signed. I noticed she wasn 8767 t wearing her ring. She was miffed I saw her, got the papers and drove off quickly. I have asked her on different occasions if she has cheated and the reponse has always been no. It gets turned back on me as though I am the reason this is happening. I feel like in a marriage both spouses will make mistakes and I certainly have made my share. However, she states repeatedly that she never did anything wrong in the marriage.
Does this sound like someone cheating or am I jumping the gun? I would appreciate someone 8767 s imput who may have dealt with a similar situation.